I have honestly been saying this one word in my head for the past week..FIGHT! Actually it’s been almost 2 weeks. I don’t know about you, but sometimes life gets tough. Like really tough. Well the past 2 weeks have been very tough emotionally. I can’t even express where it stemmed from, but it’s just been tough. I wanted to write this post to share with you some of the challenges I face in hopes to encourage you.
I know I am not the only parent who picks their kids up from school, and still is in shock that I am a parent. I still feel like I’m in my early twenties, but I’m actually closer to 40! Time is just moving along very quickly. These 4 kids look at me like I have all the answers to their life’s “little” troubles. Being a parent is a blessing, yet the amount of energy it sucks out of you is draining. (Can I keep it real?) I walk around most days like a zombie whose final destination is my bed. However, I never seem to make it there when I want, because the demands of not only parenting, but life is pulling on every ounce of my soul. Somehow, despite my fatigue I’m able to get things done. But the question is, will I always be this tired? I’ve been to a few doctors and had blood work done 3 times to try and get to the bottom of it, but all the tests come back okay. So I try to fight through it, take power naps whenever I can, and try to not let it consume me. I’ve always said I would take more energy over a million dollars any day, and I genuinely mean that. My next step is the B12 shot in hopes that can be the answer to this dilemma. In the meantime, I try and fight through it. If you struggle with fatigue know you’re not alone. More importantly if you’ve struggled with fatigue in the past, and now you found something that works for you PLEASE let me know your secret. I’ve heard that comparison is the thief of joy, but for me it is fatigue. It’s hard to be positive when you have a cloud of fatigue weighing you down. Now I know this may sound depressing, but I’m learning that it’s not safe to walk around like we’re all perfect and we have it all together, because that is not true! I said this before, and I just want to make it clear. There are days when I feel like a HOT MESS. A beautifully broken hot mess. There are times when life gets so overwhelming that it seems impossible to move on. However, I fight through those moments, and I remind myself that this to shall pass. Guess what? It passes. Our emotions are kind of like the weather. Some days it’s sunny and amazing. Other days it’s like we are in a torrential downpour and the rain seems like it will never stop. “Seems,” is the key word. Eventually the downpour DOES stop. I share my feelings, because I think we live in a world where everyone feels like they have to portray their best version of themselves, families, career goals, health choices, etc. Well, I think we all know by now, that the best part of us is just a part of us. Our best parts doesn’t make up the whole, and neither does the worst parts of us. For me I find my strength, my peace, my purpose, my joy, in my relationship with Jesus Christ. I think the past 2 weeks have been very tough, because I have been focusing on the storms and not the one who can silence the storms. I was so down, I didn’t know what to write last week, but I thank God that on the other side of the fight is victory!
We started something with our family once school began. At night, during dinner, we go around the table and we say our best and worst part of the day. Last week Tuesday, I used that opportunity to teach my kids a lesson about life! I told them I am one person, and at times I feel like each of them are pulling on each one of my limbs and they don’t care if it falls off as long as they get what they want. (Yes it was drastic, but I don’t want to raise spoiled children that have hissy fits whenever they don’t get their own way.) I explained to them that in life you can’t be selfish. You can’t always think about yourself and what you want. Instead of always taking, I told them start giving. I told them I never think about me, and that actually isn’t a good thing. I’m too busy thinking about all of them and everything else. Well, the beauty in the conversation they realized that their mom is NOT a super hero. (Honestly, they looked a little shocked.) They realized that their mom is human. They realized that I get weak and down too. For so long I felt like I had to be everything to all of them, but only God can do that. Not only to my kids but to every role I play in this life, and honestly that gets very draining. We are called to serve others, but it’s not wise to pour from an empty cup. It’s not wise to go full speed on empty on a regular basis. I’m not saying this one conversation transformed their lives, but I am happy I planted the seed to let them know the importance of thinking of others and pouring into others. I also told them I’m not perfect only Jesus is. Yeah, I had a moment with my kids. But the next day those kids were more considerate.
Our new family dynamic is something I will have to write about another time, but I can honestly say I am seeing things work out. Our kids have been helping out more and the secret is out. Their mom is NOT a superhero, and they need to step it up. James and Rasheon are both 12, and guess what? They are NOW doing the dishes, pots and all!!! Being a mom is teaching me the importance of delegation. I always felt, I don’t think they’re ready to do the dishes and pots. Meanwhile, I started when I was 6 and I’m still alive..lol :). Starting last week, my husband and I, won’t have to wash another pot. This will give us one less thing to focus on, and also instill a valuable skill in our boys. When Niko and Niya turn 10 they will join in on the kitchen fun. I guess my encouragement in this post is that we have to fight! We all face our own personal battles, some we share openly, some we don’t. Whatever it is you are facing, share it with someone you trust and that can give Godly counsel. I believe that is part of the fight. When we keep it to ourselves it tends to grow, but when we share our struggles with others we find we’re not alone. If you are a parent and you are tired, get your kids involved in the process of maintaining your home. At times I think it’s important for our kids to know that we are not super heroes. Some may not agree with me, and that’s cool you have to do what works best for your family. I just know that I don’t want my kids growing up thinking everything is perfect, and when they become an adult they get blindsided from all the challenges that life throws at them. I want them to be prepared, and be ready to fight when the storms of life try to win, and I also want them to know that the best way to fight is actually to surrender, and to let God fight their battles. The other part of that moment when my kids learned I wasn’t a superhero was the prayer at bedtime. They heard me being very honest with God, and asking Him for strength and peace. Letting God fight our battles, doesn’t mean we surrender and do nothing. It means surrendering our will for His will. It doesn’t mean we walk around and pretend everything is perfect. I believe fighting means being brutally honest about how we feel and what we struggle with, knowing we are too weak to fight that battle on our own, opening up and asking God for strength, and trusting and believing that He will fight our battles for us, and give us HIs peace in the process. So I encourage everyone to continue fighting the good fight of faith. I hope this little post will be a blessing to someone, somehow. God bless, and have a Happy Labor Day!
1 Timothy 6:12- Fight the good fight of faith…
2 Timothy 1-7- For God hasn’t given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.
Galatians 6:9- Don’t grow weary in doing in good, because you will reap a harvest if you do not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31- Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. )
Phillipians 4:6-9 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.